Here's one for ya.
I have a four year old. Good kid, robust, healthy, chipper, etc etc. Adolph woulda loved him (horrible to say, but true) - rosy cheeks, blonder than blonde hair, blue eyes, great lungs, and very strong.
And stubborn.
Did I mention that?
Yes. Ohhh yes. here we shall see JUST how stubborn this kid is, and perhaps y'all can help me.
He only likes to eat the following:
cereal
berries
some fruits
cheese
plain noodles
pb & j
eggs with cheese and ketchup
and burritos (beans and cheese ONLY)
and that is IT.
sometimes the occasional scrap of meat - bacon, hot dogs - will pass his lips, but not fucking often. Fine. he eats alright, I guess.
And normally, this would be okay. We'd have us a little tussle over a new food or a vegetable or meat or something that's a funny color (i.e. - not white, brown, or yellow).
But now, for the past six months, it is most definitely NOT okay.
Why?
Because when faced with foreign food, young Squidge will lean over the table/plate and force the entire contents of his tiny poofy belly all over. Ohhh yes. not just a wee bit of bile, or a smidge of spew. An entire meal's worth of harf, all over his current meal, the table, and occasionally Us.
Fucking excellent.
And so, while this is an amazing talent, to whimper and cry a bit and then gag until vast torrents of ABC food and belly ick come surging forth in quantities that would leave Mr Creosote applauding, I am a bit sick of it. And disgusted. I mean...I've lost about ten pounds at this point, partly due to the nastiness and sheer dreading of mealtimes. Luckily this act was not performed at my brother's house on our recent trek south, or at gramma's house. But restaurants? yes. Home? Oh shit yes, son. This is the puke palace (let's hope my poor SIL NEVER EVER finds this blog and reads it...puking is not her pal).
Any ideas on how to make this stop???? I am beyond desperation. We've tried time outs, we've tried spankings, we've tried taking away every single toy and book he owns until he can eat properly (worked for a week), we've tried bargaining, we've tried tempting with sweets and deserts, I mean....even up to ignoring it and setting aside the same meal for later when he's (of course) hungry. My mother in law insists we just give him whatever we have at each meal, and if he eats it, fine. If he doesn't, fine. Which would be great if Squidge was one to go quietly and non-pukingly about anything that disagreed with Squidge Law. Unfortunately, that is NOT how it goes.
I am miserable here, folks. Help!
