Dear San Juan Island,
Your restaurants FUCKING SUCK.
The italian place made marinara by dumping a can of stewed tomatoes in a pot and heating them up. No spices, no mushing of said whole stewed matoes, just tomatoes. your chicken was ok, but serving it on SPAGHETTI noodles is pretty goddamned ghetto. This is not dinner at aunt mary's house, this is a restaurant. pay the 20 cents more for some fucking fettuccini. And next time, try not to serve me stewed BEES in my food. That would be awesome. But on the off chance it does happen again, don't have your twatty bartender laugh and throw the food away (no apology, no nada), and don't have the waitress practically ream us out for asking that the dish be taken off of our bill. Grow the fuck up and learn how to be a business.
The weird place that had sandwiches across from the market...why is your restaurant in a warehouse? a carpeted one? i felt like i was in a ups depot. it had office carpeting, ugly and low-pile, with puke green walls and institutional grey accents. also, you do not know what the fuck lava cake is. THE CHOCOLATE IS SUPPOSED TO SPEW OUT OF THE CAKE, YOU DO NOT JUST HEAT UP A DAMN CUPCAKE AND CALL IT THAT. And $2.25 is too fucking much for ONE cup of lousy coffee, I do not care that you are on an island and water costs more out there. i don't. suck it the fuck up. And a tiny slice of pie ala mode should not be ten dollars, who do you think you are, applebees?! That place is redneck chic at least. You are like office depot chic.
And finally, dear ale house. What the hell are you thinking, putting bacon in beer? or peppers? what the flying fuck is wrong with you that you can't make a decent enough beer without resorting to novelties to draw people in?! I came in wanting a beer, saw the paltry non-gimmick offerings, and had water instead (which i was also charged for(!)). Your salad looked like it had been run over, then tossed in a tub of mayo with italian seasoning dumped on it, and your dinner rolls were literally hard enough to knock on. And then shatter into mouth-stabbing shards. And the manicotti...well, i should have known better than to order that at a damned pub. but everything else was dead cow with extra lard on top. I don't eat dead cow, you need to learn about the wonders of chicken and pulled pork. Seriously. Also, hubby's mushroom swiss burger tasted like a big fried egg, how the fuck did you pull that off? Wash your damned dishes once in a while, perhaps!
And to all of these places, your waitstaff fucking sucks! they are either too dumb and slow to remember two coffees and pie in a dead slow restaurant, too bitchy to function, or too weirdly hostile to make you not want to bolt out of the place and go take a shower to wash the creepy off.
waaaaaaaay to be a tourist spot. go to lynden, ignore the religion, and learn from the tourism masters. or even anacortes. or even la conner, for fuck's sake.
TOURIZM INDUSTREE - UR DOIN IT RONG
2 comments:
ahhh... i feel at home with the folks who say things as they should be said...
*relaxes outside shitty restaurant waiting for "family" to finish eating while drinking warm beer from back pack*
I just think that if I am paying to eat out, it should be better than what I can cook at home. Even by a little.
Next time, I am sitting outside with you and having the beer.
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